Noel Coward's orgy

I'm going to give the achingly self-aware stuff a rest for a bit and post something I started a while back and finished today. The central idea is simply: what would a Noel Coward song be like without the need for innuendo?

[to be read aloud over piano music in the voice of Noel Coward]

On Friday I thought I’d persuade Jim and Georgie
To go to an orgy with Margie and Maude;
I pleaded and pleaded and soon they conceded;
It was just what I needed, though Georgie was bored.
The boy was dismayed when there weren’t any ladies
(I’d told him that maybe he’d find one to kiss);
The dear boy was maddened that sadly I hadn’t
Invited one madam, one girlie or miss.
‘Where’s Margie? Where’s Maudie?’ the dear boy implored;
‘It’s a sham! It’s a fraud! There are no girls in sight!
‘Jim and I were assured there’d be girls in their hordes,
‘And we wouldn’t be bored for one jot of the night!’
I said to him, ‘Georgie, what kind of an orgy,
What low-level bawdry did you hope to see?’
Meanwhile Jimmy was cross and somewhat at a loss
As to why he was tossing off Georgie and me.